dreams really suck

and by "dreams" i don't mean the kind you consciously think up and plan on fulfilling, as in "i have a dream." i mean the kind you have when you're sleeping. well, _my_ dreams suck anyway. for some reason, i never have happy dreams with fluffy clouds and chocolate streams; the only dreams i have are on the nightmarish side. luckily i don't dream often.

last night i had this dream that i'm staying late in the building where i work because i was stressed out about studying for an exam. i was next to the water fountain and this scary grizzled old man came up and made me give him my wallet. i'm not sure what exactly happened next but i remember i was panicking because nobody will know where he takes me. needless to say, i don't think i'd be too good at the "thinking clearly" should i ever be in such a sitch in real life.

and last week i had a dream that i was in a government compound in another country and while everyone was really nice, they were going to hang me. and not hang to die, but hang and keep alive. i'm not quite sure how it is done but i saw this one person hanging in the semi-dark, swinging from the noose like a regular lynching. it's not that they keep the people alive by taking care of them; it's that the people just don't die for some reason. it was freaky. at one point i remember i was quite adamant on brushing my teeth because i won't be able to while i was hanging for months and months.

ergo, i hate dreams.

am i lame? hell yeah!

wow. it's nice to be able to post again. i can't believe i actually forgot my username. that was lame...

so i finish applying to all the schools whose apps are due in december. now my only problem is one of my recommenders isn't sending in his letter and i can't seem to get in touch with him. this'll mark the earliest i've requested a letter, all for a no-show. see what i get for thinking ahead? procrastination is good! (really, it is. people take pity on you cuz you're all stressed out. whereas if you do everything with plenty of time to spare and act all breezy they just don't take you seriously.)